Feminism and the Change Room

I identify as a feminist. Which means that I can state an opinion even if other feminists don't agree.

I will probably be doing that now. So be aware. The following may cause steam to come out of your ears. Don't say I didn't warn you.

There's a lot of controversy about bathrooms right now. Basically who can go into what bathroom. This also includes change rooms.

Most of the feminists I have come across are in full support of men who identify as women having full access to women's bathrooms and change rooms.

Frankly, I am shaking my head over this.

Here in Alberta, the schools are passing through a ruling that would allow any boy who identifies as a girl, full access to the girls change rooms and bathrooms. As long as he/she says he's/she's a girl, he/she can go in, change where ever he/she pleases, and if a girl doesn't want to change in front of this boy, she has to leave.

That's right. If she doesn't want to change in front of the person with a penis, and there isn't a private change room for her, she has to leave. Even though that could cause her to miss her next class or be late for it, which she will have to pay the consequences for.

As for the bathrooms, we're not talking about private little rooms with full doors. No one has issue with that. We're talking about stalls, with openings top and bottom, gaps between door and stall, and often locks that are broken or don't work properly.

Now I'm not saying that all transgender people are perverts intent on hurting women. But I don't believe in the other extreme either - that they are all angels who would never hurt anyone ever. As far as hurting others, if transgender people really believe in equality, then they will have to admit that they are just as capable of wrong doing as anyone else.

I read a blurb from a transgender person explaining the fear they have using the men's bathroom. I've read about transgendered people being beaten up by men when using the men's bathroom. This is wrong. No doubt about it. Let me make this clear. No person should be beaten up for being transgendered. Not at all!

But why is it okay to ignore the real problem - like men beating up people. Instead the answer is to force women to share their accommodations with someone who carries a weapon.

That's right. If you have a penis, you have a weapon against women. And let's be clear. Not every man rapes women. In fact I would bet the vast majority of men in North America do not rape women. Yet we have still created separate bathrooms and change rooms for men and women. Why is that? Well, maybe because women don't want to change in front of penis bearers. Otherwise, why bother with any privacy at all? Why not just have open rooms of toilets and showers and just make everyone do their business in front of everyone?

I've seen the argument that men who think they're women are not attracted to women. But rape is not about attraction. It's about power. And transgendered people haven't had much power in the past. Now they have power over women, because they demanded entrance to women's accommodations, and they got it. Surely a woman who complains about this needs to be put in her place.

And interestingly, or actually typically, NO ONE HAS ASKED WOMEN. Really. Anyone been asked? Got a chance to place a vote? Nope, it's been a bunch of people with penises who have made this decision.

So what's feminist about that?

And I'm tired of the memes that tell women that there's nothing to fear. It's condescending. What right does anyone have to tell someone else what to fear? Rape is real. Voyeurism is real. Attacks on women are real. And even if most rapes are done by a man that the woman knows, that doesn't mean that there's no such thing as stranger rape.

So why are we taking down walls of protection as flimsy as they may be? Sure any man can follow a woman into a restroom or change room, but he's less likely to do it if he's afraid of getting caught. Now all he has to do is say that he's a female and the blame is then transferred to the complaining woman.  She's a hateful bigot. How dare she question him. So what if she's sitting on the toilet and she sees the guy through the gap eyeing her. He has every right to be there, because he says he does. So what if he looks over the top to watch her shower naked. It's her problem for not being open and saying "here I am."

As for the claim that there are no incidences of men taking advantage of the situation, all you have to do is a google search and there will be several examples.

There's also the controversy around a boy who claims he's a girl and started using the girls change rooms at his/her high school. The girls were not comfortable with the situation, and staged a boycott. Which is their right to do so, since NO ONE ASKED THEM IF THEY WERE WILLING TO CHANGE IN FRONT OF HIM. Some of the comments I read around this from people were basically telling these girls to shut up and calling them bigots.

We are back to telling women to shut up and just accept it.

So let's be clear. If you don't want to change in front of a penis bearer, or have one walk in on you while you're changing, and if you dare to speak up about it, then you are a bigoted homophobic who hates everyone.

And let's be clear about this. Although the statistics are something like 1 in 3 women will suffer sexual abuse in her lifetime, and although women have a right not to be sexually abused, standing up for yourself and saying "I'm not comfortable having men in the same locker room" is not okay. You have the right not to be abused, you just don't have the right to protect yourself or other women.

Let's also be clear about something else. And I admit that I don't have statistics to back this up. But if "only" 5% of rapes are stranger rapes, and "only" 33% of the population of women are raped, and women make up "only" 50% of the population, I think that's still more women who are raped by a stranger than the amount of transgendered people.

There's a lot of women in this world. Women who were born women and aren't identifying as anything else and don't want to and can't even hide the fact that they're women even if they tried.  And yet, the tiny minority is dictating to a majority and demanding that all these women cater to the needs of a few.

And lets be clear too, this teen was offered other accommodations. In fact private accommodations which any girl would happily have - and he/she TURNED IT DOWN. Lila wanted to share the change room with the girls.

Which shows he/she's not thinking like a girl.  And although he/she's demanding compassion from the girls who are standing up to him/her, he/she shows a complete lack of empathy for the situation he/she's insisting on putting them in and instead is playing the victim.

Let's be clear again. NO ONE IS ASKING WOMEN.

Even a lot of the memes directed towards those hateful bigoted women who don't want to get naked in front of penis bearers, are either transgender, or men.

That's right. Men are weighing in on this issue and basically telling women to shut up and suck it up.

See, that way they don't have to have transgendered people in their bathrooms.

Lets face it, if men are beating up the men who dress as women, they're going to beat up the women who dress up as men. So no one will be using the men's rooms because men beat people up.

Women don't. Women are known for being caring. We want everyone to be comfortable. We want everyone to have a place to pee and a place to change. And as it turns out, there's a group of women who have no problem giving up their private places to ensure that. Because we're trained to bend over backwards for everyone's comfort. Which is noble, and lovely and praiseworthy. But it is often to our detriment.

So because men beat up people, everyone else is in the women's bathrooms and change rooms, either minding their own business, or ogling, or running around naked and not caring one little bit if this is hard for women. Let's not focus in on those men who are beating people up. Let's instead focus in on women and shame them for their feelings.

But as long as transgendered people feel safe, that's all that matters. Women's feelings on the matter and especially rape victims, are silly and misguided and they should just get over themselves.

After all, WOMEN DON'T NEED TO BE ASKED. THEY NEED TO BE TOLD.

AND TO JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT.